A Bucket of Cold Water

Life in this phase of life is harsh.

You might be sad for a moment
Crushed for a moment
Lost for awhile
Happy and jumping the next.

I have been having nightmares these few days, some were terrific that I woke myself shouting, others were just too blue that I was crying in my dream. This is bad... Really bad.....

Maybe I should give myself a rest, someplace where I am not looking at the job advertisement website. Someplace where I can escape from all these mess. But I don't have money..... Where can I go to?

I just got an appointment for another interview today. This time is with the recruitment agency. My aunt was happy at first. But later on, when I wasn't noticing, she said something negative and somehow hurtful and something that reduced my confident tremendously. I don't understand why she wants to do that, some of the words she said were teachings but others were just a bucket of cold water.

Sometimes I wish I am staying on my own. Then I do not need to face these things all the time. But like I said, I do not have the money. I am totally down and not in the mood to apply for any jobs now. What is the use? I may ask. I need a change of luck.

I reckon I am no longer the happy self I once used to be. I need to find me back. The one who is happy not the stress-out guy who is typing this entry.

PS: Don't get me wrong. After what my aunt said, I will still go there and try to impress them so that they will give me a job even if they don't have one for me.