Bury the Pharaoh in his pyramid

My student visa finally expires today. So what am I suppose to do? Get kicked out from Australia? or hide in the bushing, living in a constant fear that the cops or worse rangers will come and track me down? Well, I will opt for the third choice, which allows me to stay in this beautiful place permanently! Yeah, permanent visa. DUH...... I am not a PR yet, I am holding a bridging visa for that!!!!! So I hope my bloody visa condition will change over the internet.

I guess I will always start something about myself before jumping into the pool of randomness. You might think that after such a hiatus, I might get a bloody job by now. However, the answer is the opposite. I am still writing my resumes, but I did not fish every single opportunity I can get. I am screening for jobs that I felt I am 'fit' to apply. No point to apply for jobs that they need any particular work experience which I do not have. Bad Idea? I don't know and don't care. Like I said before (if I am not mistaken), heaps of people have been telling me that I should do this and not that, while others went against that idea and suggesting the otherwise. I am just going to go my way. You don't like it? Too bad.

I just realised that I, being a normal human being, do have something that is regarded as bad, EGO. Everyone, especially the kings or pharaohs, has ego. Maybe the buddhist monk do not have, or they are not suppose to have. Don't tell me " I am a very innocent girl, that do not wish to have a lot of ego like what men do....". Bullshit! Even a girl have their own feminine ego. Ego is something dark, inaccessible part of our personal emotion, that we know very little off. Girls want to have all the branded stuffs because this makes them slightly feel better. In some sense, this can be regarded as ego.

I felt that I have ego because I was desperate to get a job, before I need to go back Malaysia to face a hordes of questioning-paracheets during my sister's wedding. I know for sure, Every Single Laughing Kookaburra Person will ask whether I have landed myself a job or not. The most common conversation will go like this:

Kookaburra A: Ah xiang ah. You have grown up so much. The last time I have seen you are when you were just a baby/little boy loh.
Mom: (She will definitely continue the conversation with something nice, while I just cant be bothered)
Kookaburra A: So what are you doing now ah? Studying university ah? Working ah?
Me: I just finished my degree from Australia.
Kookaburra B: Wah, so clever (ah, it is a must). So now working in Australia lah?

Yep, this is what I imagine what it is going to be....... So it is better to end the conversation by saying, "I am currently working in this or this place". That's why I hate going back to Malaysia. People keep on asking what are you currently doing, and amazed with just a tiny little thing that I felt normal. Of course, I like my hometown. But to go back to repeat myself about myself for hundred times is just not the top of my to-do-list.

So this is my little humble ego. What's yours? It is better to understand yourself and realise it, then you might live your life better than others who just lived their life in denial.