Culture Shock!

Culture Shock is a massive personal contradiction which might occur to some human beings which are away from home. Those who never leave home could have culture shock as well! Especially when your parent has different thinking as yours...Oh wait, that is Generation Gaps...Anywho, you can say it is Culture Shock when you are staying with your in-laws. They definitely have different culture than yours! Nadia from American Pie 1 and 2 definitely have no such culture shock. Maybe she ease her way into the American society of stripping naked in front of everyone as all Brazilian do. Did she said she is a Brazilian? Oh well, she is definitely from somewhere else besides Canada.

Okay for those foreigner who happen to be living in a different culture, there are some examples of events which could cause culture shock (Caution those below 15 need some parent guidance in reading the rest) :

1. Waking up with different gal every morning could be a bloody real Culture Shock! To make matter worse, if you wake up in different bed is even more shocking! Monday could be Jessica, and Tuesday could be Mary. The next day could be another Jessica and the following days you have already lost count and confuse each of the gals names. When you wake up with gal that you have not meet and totally won't turn you on (looked like a hyena) that is when it shocks the shit out of you.
2. Your friends are mostly doofus and who are mostly blond. This could be the real blond or the Caucasian wannabe.
3. You still believe strongly in HIV transmission is through liquids from your body, regardless they are sweat, saliva or semen. Then the most shocking is when you saw two individuals, either same sex or opposite sex, are exchanging saliva in the public and God knows what kind of Judo techniques their tongue are using. Some people might actually smelled like a sewage rat and still put on countless spray of Eau De Toilette ( Toilet water) then it bloody shocks you.
4. When there is no Ah-Sum/Ah Chim/Maria to help you wash your dishes and your bloody smelly clothes. Shock huh? To know how well your clothes can smell and your dishes that you innocently neglected for one month!
5. There is no familiar foods such as your favorite Home-Cook-Meals. All they have in the "Chinese" Restaurants are ChupSui and Sweet and Sour thingy. Oh, don't look bad on these restaurants, they have a variety of foods there, besides your home cooked meals. They have Beef ChupSui, Chicken ChupSui, Pork ChupSui, Veggie ChupSui for the vegetarian who has no idea what wok they are using. Nevertheless they have Sweet and Sour Pork (which is the most favourite), Sweet and Sour Chicken, Sweet and Sour Beef, Lemon Chicken, Lemon Pork, Lemon Beef; AND AND another favourite dishes: Black Bean Chicken, Black Bean Pork and Black Been Beef!
6. For those poor soul who has a car and currently staying in a "wrong direction driving", there is a real culture shock. When you are English and are staying in France, those f**king garlic bread bastard can't seem to drive in the correct direction and those bloody sign saying You ARE in the WRONG WAY are totally a prank made by some 12 years old kids. Everyone should be driving in the RIGHT because that is THE right way. Well that is a shock some people might have!
7. If you are an Asian and you living in a Westerner country, where they have too much LIFE and no money by closing their Department stores at 5pm or 7pm... They really have life by closing that early and all the customers might as well stay at home and get some undone business in bed.

But to those who has such problems, not to worry. There are some solutions!

1. Instead of waking up with different gal every morning, tried your best to wake up with 2 to 3 different gal every morning. Still not even enough? Then tried waking up with someone from same sex and a opposite sex partner every morning! That is a bloody even number!Find those with the same first name, like John and Joan! Different bed don't really matter, as long as you are still around your area and you have your clothes with you!
2. Have some Emo friends (those who is only wear clothes that are black, and dye their hair black) if you are Asian. Or upgrade yourself and have some Asian wannabes! Teach them to speak 'Ni Hau Mah' englishly. Asian gals ditch that!
3. HIV through saliva? Crikey! Go bloody educate yourself with a Year10 textbook, piece of shit.
4. No maid in your place now? Go hire one. They are called Wife! Maid in the morning to arvo and maiden at night! Guys pretty sure what I mean! Even better are those do not need paycheck every month. Stay at home and cook until the whole face turns yellow and do some ugly, fat belly dance for you. Don't expect anything good if you don't pay. Even pole dancer cost you $100 per dance and you can't even touch them...
5. No home cooked meal? Cook yourselves. Just that hope your kitchen has insurance covered. If you burned your kitchen, there is another solution. Bring your mother over or bring Maria over! Still can't work? Then follow the step above!
6. Hate to follow the rules, then drive your own rules! Drive which way as you like, Left Right Center, or even in the bush line. You might as well kill some wildlife and make those for tea!
7. Work as a Department Store Guard if you are complaining about the early hour closing. The you can shop as much as you can! But before you shop, make sure you close the CCTV first and in the morning just blame the black-out or another guard that is after your shift.

There you go, if you people still have this disease with the above symptoms, do call Nadia from American Pie.

PS. People below 15, please have parent guidance while reading this